Y’all. There are some questions we really should just stop asking. Questions that simply serve to make others uncomfortable or less-than or just plain irritable. Questions that don’t move a conversation forward or give us much insight about the person. Let’s just stop it. Let’s agree to eliminate these questions from our repertoire.

When are you getting married?

1. Not everyone wants to get married. Really. It’s true.
2. Some people who really want to get married are super tired of people reminding them they are aren’t.
3. Unless there is an engagement and wedding date set, NO ONE has the answer to this question.

When are you going to have kids?

1. Not everyone wants kids. They value their sleep and the ability to go and do what they want when they want.
2. Not everyone can have kids, but are desperately trying and your question might send them over the edge.
3. Again, unless someone is pregnant and has been given a due date, NO ONE knows the answer to this question.

What do you do?

1. This boils a persons life down to what they do for a living. Nope.
2. Super cool people can have boring jobs. People with super impressive jobs can be really dull. Smart people can work at convenience stores. Creative people can work desk jobs. It’s not the best way to get to know someone.
3. A better question is “What do you like to do?” This is news you can use to really get to know a person.

Where did you go to college?

1. Not everyone went to college
2. This is often a question of one-upsmanship–my college is better than yours, therefore I’m better than you.
3. Unless you’re trying to figure out why you know each other, skip it.

Can I touch your hair?

1. No, you can’t.

Some suggestions for better questions when making small talk:

1. What are you reading/watching/binging right now?
2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
3. What’s the best thing that has happened to you lately?
4. What is the best vacation you ever took?
5. Where is your favorite place to eat?

Let’s up our conversation game, change our questions, be more interesting and interested.