Note: this prayer is not meant to exclude the unvaccinated. It is to give voice and vocabulary to the frustrations and struggles I am hearing from those who are vaccinated (and am experiencing myself). I believe our prayers are most effective when we can be honest with God and ourselves about what we are thinking and how we are feeling–especially when we wish weren’t feeling and thinking those things.

God, we are too weary for words.

We stayed home.

We juggled kids and work and school and the relentless question of “what’s for dinner tonight?”

We went into work under dangerous conditions because the world deemed us “essential.”

We’ve missed out on so much. Our children have missed out on so much.

We’ve grieved the loss of friends and family until we thought we were done–only to have that grief sneak up behind us even bigger and badder than it was before.

Then…

We reveled in the news of a vaccine. We joined waiting lists and stood in line to get it.

We cried tears of joy when we were able to gather around a table with family and friends.

We celebrated when we put our masks down and could visibly smile at people in public.

And now…

We’re searching to find masks that have scattered into sock drawers and toy boxes.

We’re worried about our children who are too young to get the vaccine and are facing a return to school.

We are angry at those who discount the science, refuse the vaccine and discourage others from protecting themselves and others. We are really angry.

We see our healthcare providers who barely had a chance to catch their breath being overwhelmed once again.

We hear people who have waged war against the words “My Body. My Choice” shouting them from the rooftops–ignoring that their choices affect our families and our communities.

We’re trying to get better, but bitter is winning right now.

We want to love our neighbors, but we resent those who aren’t doing all they can to stem the tide of this pandemic.

We are tired of defending our efforts to keep our families safe.

Guide us, God. Help us to be the people you call us to be right now, because we’re not sure what that looks like in this ever-changing pandemic-scape.

Deliver us from self-righteous and holier-than-thou words and actions.

Grant us the gift of gentle persuasion.

Show us the way to solutions.

We are tired of being tired.

We are tired of being angry.

We are tired waking up to news of new infections and more death.

We are just tired.

Help us to reach for rest when we feel like we can’t go on

And to remember that we are never alone.

Amen

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Rev. Anne Russ is an ordained pastor in the Presbyterian Church (USA), currently based in New York City. Doubting Believer provides tools and encouragement for the rollercoaster ride of your faith journey. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram and YouTube. You can also follow on TikTok. Get emails to keep up with all that is happening.